Today I was running late for yoga. I skipped last week’s practice to sit in an office chair- something that happens more often than I like to admit. But instead of working on my birthday, I wanted to drive the Pacific Coast Highway… so I decided that I could give up yoga for a week.
But after 30 hours of overtime, followed by 30 hours on the road, I was desperate. My body was crying out for down dog, pigeon and a series of backbends. Today I was determined to be in the studio, on my mat, with plenty of time to warm up. I woke up an hour early and worked through lunch, giving myself just enough time to sneak away. I took the slowest elevator on the planet down to my car and walked to the parking garage. There I found my car, blocked in my boyfriend’s truck. This was going to set me back ten minutes.
“I will be on time.” I thought to myself. Taking a deep breath, I remembered one of my mantras for the day, “everything always works in my favor.”
I pulled out my phone and made a call upstairs. I walked slowly to my car, slid into the driver’s seat and smiled.
Years ago, I might have missed this miracle. I might not have seen that, for whatever reason, it was perfect that I was being held back a few minutes longer. I could have been in some tragic car accident and had I lived, everyone would say, “it’s a miracle!” But I don’t think God is always so dramatic. He simply makes sure that something slows me down, something keeps me on course. I miss the accident altogether. And all the time I am cursing the sky; “GOD, why would you make me late??? I was doing everything to be one time!?”
I didn’t have eyes to see that everything was always working out in my best interest.
One of my teachers, Christopher DeSanti, once asked a room full of students,
“How many of you can honestly say that the worst thing that ever happened to you, was the best thing that ever happened to you?”
It’s a brilliant question. Almost half of the hands in the room went up, including mine.
I’ve spent my whole life pretending to be General Manager of the universe. By the time I was a teenager, I thought I knew absolutely everything. Anyone telling me otherwise was a major nuisance. I resisted everything that was reality and always longed for something more, better, different. Whenever I didn’t get what I thought I wanted, I was in total agony over it.
But when I look back, the things I thought went wrong, were creating new possibilities for me to get what I actually desired. Possibilities that would have never existed if I had been in charge. So the truth is, nothing had really gone wrong at all. So why was I so upset? I was in agony only over a conversation in my head that said I was right and reality (God, the universe, whatever you want to call it) was wrong. The actual event meant nothing: a low score on my math test, a flat tire, an early curfew, was all meaningless. I made up it was the worst thing in the world. Where I set now, none of it affected my life negatively, at all… but at the time, all I could see was loss. Because loss is what I chose to see.
Miracles are happening all around us, all the time. The question is, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? It is not always an easy choice, but it is simple. Can you be present enough to remember that the next “worst thing” is actually a miracle in disguise? And if you see still negativity in your life, can you set back and observe where it is coming from? You might find that you are the source of the problem. And in that space, you can always choose again to see the missed miracle.